003.1: Take shrooms, click here, and fucking die
we're fucking worldwide

I talk a lot of shit about LinkedIn, but I check mine several times a day. This is only to see the recommended news headlines. I swear to goddddd that I’m not checking for notifications or messages. I never get any anyway :(. Something I’ve never admitted to anyone on this earth is that I am terrified of commenting on LinkedIn posts. I’m honestly kind of terrified to say anything on social media. People can be mean. I’m scared of my comment starting an argument that evenually leads to me being proven wrong. I hate arguing and I am easily embarrassed. Millions of peoples’ first and only impressions of me could be that I’m a dummy.

Well I did something dumb and clicked on a LinkedIn news headline about student loan forgiveness. I immediately scrolled to the comments because I’m addicted to reading them. The first comment I saw was this cute little meme. Below that is what I wanted to write as a reply, but never will. I’m kind of scared to even write it here.

I think this references two different concepts: education cost forgiveness and purchase cost forgiveness.  Wouldn't the equivalent be to also forgive my tool purchases? Such as my computer and software subscriptions. I can't complete a project without my computer, just as a mechanical engineer couldn't complete their project without certain tools. I think a hippocrital argument would be, “student load forgiveness is good, but training loan/expenses forgiveness isn’t.” I don’t think anyone is saying that.

Let me know what you think. I’ll reply to everyone who emails me.

It’s 10:28pm. My wife and I are laying on each other's side of the bed. Her side is firmer than mine. We are naked and sweating. She is pulling at her nipples. I am staring out the window at a silver Chevy Cobalt. A tiny red dot flashes from the rearview mirror once every five seconds. Period.

My head is a helium balloon soaring into outer space. It will soon float alongside asteroids and empty space suits. See ya later.

Back on Earth, I am twisting my chest hairs into a tower. Our black lab has started snoring.
“Are you a piggy?”
Our family.

A really bad pen drawing of Precious