Dear Michael Talamonti,

In 7th grade, you told me that the first thing you see in The Whole Nine Yards is a naked lady jumping out of a window completely spread eagle. Well, it's been 19 years, and I finally watched the beginning of that shitty movie. Why did you lie to me? I have lost all respect for you.

Testicles about to be obliterated by a bench vise Crank it - 2020
An annoyed man working on a car I do drive a 2006 Honda Civic hybrid. It has 61,000 miles, goes from 0-60 in 12 seconds and costs me $0 to own. It was passed down from my grandfather to my father, and in June 2022, from my father to me. To the best of my knowledge, it is our only family heirloom. Catching sight of this car is the visual equivalent to suffering from clinical depression.